Accepting Without Giving Up

“If you have the determination to do something, it’s done.”
Confucius

Imagine teaching a child how to ride a bike. The child will hesitate, sway, and probably will fall many times over. However, you will never him he would never learn how to bike. You will accept his temporary failures, but you will not give up teaching him.

Acceptance means that you follow the pace of the child and accept his speed of learning and development. And again — without giving up and without resigning from teaching him. You do not resign, simply because temporary failures are just that — temporary. Grit, perseverance, and discipline will help the child learn how to ride a bike. Just like any other adult has learned.

But what happens in teams when people go through their temporary setbacks?

Often their managers do not accept them. They do not accept failures; they do not accept people with temporary failures. One reason that this happens is that managers confuse acceptance with giving up. And acceptance is the ground on which new skills and confidence grow. If there is no acceptance, it is like planting wheat in an asphalt parking lot and waiting for something to sprout.

What happens when there is no acceptance?

When there is no acceptance, there are accusations, condemnation, and abdication. From the ground of accusations and condemnation raise fears, insecurities, and a desire to escape. No reasonable manager wants to develop these feelings in his people. However, they are emerging precisely because of managers who do not find the right way to create the right ground.

One important addition — acceptance, as a manager, you do it for yourself, not for someone else. You need this healthy selfishness so you do not take on the role of the martyr who helps, supports, and accepts everyone to feel good and sufficient. No. The direct and recent benefits of acceptance are for the other party — it receives encouragement, experience, and confidence. But the indirect and long-term benefits are for the accepting managers who do not give up.

Originally published at https://www.equinox-partners.bg.